The Kiss

Only the chaste are truly obscene.

Joris-Karl Huysmans

Catholic School Expels Two Kids for Having Lesbian Parents

On the bright side, Bill O'Reilly for once has some sort of sense...

Self Portrait (1888)

...and one must always try to know deeper, better and, more.

Vincent van Gogh, Cuesmes, Belgium July 1880

I noticed the front door of our apartment pushed open ever so slightly when I came home today. At first I laughed it off, thinking one of my roommates just forgot to close the door all the way on his/her way out—but after confirming with the two who left last that they had indeed closed and locked the door, I'm now properly scared. Granted, nothing was stolen as far as I can tell and nobody was in our closet, but the simple fact that our locked door was pushed open, in a time when people are getting abducted and brutally murdered left and right, doesn't make being home alone or sleeping at night any easier. I need to come up with a plan other than being a burnout while my roommates are away for Spring Break, or at least have an emergency plan...

http://chatroulette.com/

Chatroulette has become somewhat of a phenomenon, bringing together people from all over the globe through direct chat and webcam. I've been hearing quite a bit about this site for a few weeks now but never checked it out until last night. Granted, more often than not you'll find creepers doing dirty things, but still, I in Southern California can stumble upon somebody handling business clear on the other side of the world, bananas. So far we've met people from Maine, Hong Kong, Germany, New York, France, London, the Philippines, and hella putting myself on blast but I just spent a good hour choppin' it up with Chris, Joel, and Mike from UIllinois (downass boys, please send them my regards if you happen to know them in person~); the internet's such a crazy place.

♡ roommates (Part II)

♡ roommates

"Okay, let's take a vote, bong?"
"..."
"Blunts it is."

海辺のカフカ

After a simple dinner I go out on the porch and gaze up at the stars twinkling above, the random scattering of millions of stars. Even in a planetarium you wouldn't find this many. Some of them look really big and distinct, like if you reached your hand out intently you could touch them. The whole thing is breathtaking.

Not just beautiful, though—the stars are like the trees in the forest, alive and breathing. And they're watching me. What I've done up till now, what I'm going to do—they know it all. Nothing gets past their watchful eyes. As I sit there under the shining night sky, again a violent fear takes hold of me. My heart's pounding a mile a minute, and I can barely breathe. All these millions of stars looking down on me, and I've never given them more than a passing thought before. Not just stars—how many other things haven't I noticed in the world, things I know nothing about? I suddenly feel helpless, completely powerless. And I know I'll never outrun that awful feeling.

Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore, 135

I think sometimes (often too much) about how small we as humans are in respect to the "Big Picture," and it is absolutely, terrifyingly mind-boggling . It's a sad thought that we and everything we've miraculously accomplished (all thanks to one gene mutation, imagine) could hypothetically be extinguished in the blink of an eye, indispensable in the hands of Nature.

Beam Me Up Scotty

This mixtape goes so fucking hard negl <3 Noteworthy tracks include: "I Get Crazy (ft. Lil Wayne)," "Itty Bitty Piggy," "Kill Da DJ," "Slumber Party (ft. Gucci Mane)," "Shopaholic (ft. Bobby Valentino & Gucci Mane," "Keys Under Palm Trees," "Five-O (ft. Gudda Gudda & Jae Millz)," "Envy," and the title track, "Beam Me Up Scotty"~



Low-key though, I just want to blaze all day, eh.

（○＾ω＾○）

It was shell shocking when I saw a boy who looked like him this afternoon. Not twins per-se, but everything about this boy reminded me of that one; tragic (especially because both are hella cute). Ah, c'est la vie, just picked up and finna get lifted soon, back on that school grind tomorrow~

ねじまき鳥クロニクル

I finished The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle last night; it took longer than usual for me to get through 607 pages but it was absolutely worth every second. I find myself with more questions at the end than when I started (and I was lost for a cool minute), but I think that just goes to show the genius of Murakami. Hopefully I get my hands on a copy of Kafka on the Shore this weekend...

In a place far away from anyone or anywhere, I drifted off for a moment.

Haruki Murakami, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, 607

Christian Ignorance Revives Discrimination in Virginia

en·nui

n. a feeling of utter weariness and discontent resulting from satiety or lack of interest; boredom


The Bible as Literature (aka ENG23) is going to stress me into an aneurysm by the end of this semester—everybody's defending the Bible's contradictions up the ass at 10:30 AM doesn't sit well with me; the only person I can stand in that class is the teacher because she raises questions.

On an unrelated note Keita and I've decided that, after extensive testing, I'm his bad luck charm on Dinglepop (Kevin, we haven't OMGPOP'd with you in days!) :(

New Year's Resolutions (Part II), etc.

And in the movement of the sun, I felt something I hardly know how to name: some huge, cosmic love.

Haruki Marukami, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, 138

Earlier, as I was waiting for the 1, a man approached me asking if I had 20¢ to spare. Usually and unfortunately I never make street donations, be it for an official cause or a personal one—but on a whim I decided not to dig through the change in my wallet and instead just give him my last $5 bill; he needed to get back to Washington. With a kind smile and soft-spoken words, he thanked me and told me to have a good day. I don't know if he was just down on his luck with no way to traverse the state lines home or if this was the biggest lie I've heard in a while, but it felt nice to help a stranger out with no motives or strings attached. If I hadn't given him money he would've gotten it from somebody else, so why not? I'm very blessed, especially when compared to much of the world, what's $5 out of my pocket? It would've just gone towards eating out (which isn't necessary) or cigarettes (also unnecessary) anyway, might as well help out a fellow human being just trying to live. One of my New Year's resolutions was to be nicer and I'm extending that to all of humanity, not just the people I come into contact with on a regular basis.

On a completely unrelated note:

http://donatingwealth.com/

I started RCC this Tuesday and I'm already feelin' it! The campus is lovely, the boys make for tastier eye candy than at UCR, the professors (especially my art history one) seem down, and my schedule is light and perfect. Also, going to school in Downtown Riverside opens up many opportunities for previously unexplored eateries... :3 This is the first time in a long time that I've looked forward to school three days in a row; it feels nice having gotten myself back on that study grind, DUAN IT.

Sex and the City

Welcome to the age of "un-innocence." No one has breakfast at Tiffany's and no one has affairs to remember. Instead, we have breakfast at 7:00 AM and affairs we try to forget as quickly as possible. Self-protection and closing the deal are paramount. Cupid has flown the co-op. How the hell did we get into this mess?

Sex and the City

RIP Alexander McQueen (031669 - 021110)

The Hangover

It's not gambling if you know you're gonna win.

The Hangover

I finally watched this; I get the hype. Happy Chinese New Year! :)

3 HITS 4 KILLS, dominating bitches at Balloono :)

If you go by emotions, not reason, it means you're going against reality.

Ayn Rand

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.

Chinese proverb

Throwback (August 2008)

I MISS SUMMER, when there was sun and warmth, when I had long hair and thought I was cute, when I was just a tranny-slash-skankbeast-in-training~

Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward. Next to the first one in the morning, it's the best one of all. It tasted so good that even if I had been frigid I would have pretended otherwise just to be able to smoke it.

Florence King

Goodnight Moon

Trijicon Removes Bible References from Rifle Scopes

*update from this post

At this very moment I'd like to say my life is going down the drain and just break down indefinitely in a messy pile, but amor fati, c'est la vie, etc.

Sometimes I wish I were lucky in love. I'm good just doing me as I have for the past forever, but I think it'd be nice if it were ~real... I just got over my exception (or so I thought) but I'm missing everything again—perhaps it's post-period hormone overload, perhaps it's how I haven't been able to see the moon or stars lately, perhaps it's because it is February. I'll just blame this out of character-ness on my excessive Korean drama/movie watching lately. :|

Happy February!

I can hardly believe a month of 2010 is already over! Starting out this one correct with my new favorite meal (hot water + sugar lemon + lemon, Chinese sausages, cream cheese + toast), a cigarette, Haruki Murakami's The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, and Corinne Bailey Rae's The Sea~ I wish every afternoon could be like this; too bad I have work at 6:30... Oh well, I need to hustle and play.

말도 없이

Tae Kyung: Night or day, the sun is the star.
Mi Nam: Then I must be something like a moon using the light of a star like you.
Tae Kyung: But a moon is not completely useless. No matter how many other stars there are at night, the only thing I see is the moon.

RIP J.D. Salinger (010119 - 012710)

What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though.

J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

As the end of yet another school year—the fifteenth of my life—draws closer, my mind is sent reeling; housing preparations for the upcoming year need to be made, how I'll keep busy this summer has to be decided, etc. Beyond the superficial, the near future, I've also been thinking a lot about what has to be done now in order to progress later. XV is something I hold very near and dear to me, which is surprising to both myself and those who knew me back in high school as I absolutely dreaded having to be here for four years. I'd made all types of plans to get out as soon as humanly possible but now that that chance looms ever nearer, I'll say that I never expected it to get here so soon.

The bonds I've formed in the past two years are tighter than the vast majority I've made in my entire nineteen years of existence; college not working out in my favor (and vice versa) have opened my eyes to a whole new world of post-school possibility; and I've never been so certain of how I want to progress. My choices are not supported by all but I have such confidence in them that I'm willing to sacrifice, well, everything I know right now. When I leave this place I'll know that I can always find home in these beautiful people; when I leave this place I'll know what I'm setting out to do with my life will make me happy, and if not, I have the rest of my life to figure it out.

I've always been a fan of change—staying with something long enough to enjoy it but not quite long enough to pine for it when its time is up—after all (and this may seem a little immature) what's life without good adventure? I'm not a believer of God or any other higher power, but I do believe in the karmic powers of the universe: what goes around comes around; every action has a reaction; everything happens for a reason; and when one door closes another opens. And my doors are open.

DUAN IT <3 Kevin makes my life, that is all~

Happy 7th, Rage!

I like the three big escapes: drinking, smoking, and going to bed.

La Dolce Vita

Good weekend with Kevin~

The Known Universe

What would it look like to travel across the known universe? To help humanity visualize this, the American Museum of Natural History has produced a modern movie featuring many visual highlights of such a trip. The video starts in Earth's Himalayan Mountains and then dramatically zooms out, showing the orbits of Earth's satellites, the Sun, the Solar System, the extent of humanity's first radio signals, the Milky Way Galaxy, galaxies nearby, distant galaxies, and quasars. As the distant surface of the microwave background is finally reached, radiation is depicted that was emitted billions of light years away and less than one million years after the Big Bang. Frequently using the Digital Universe Atlas, every object in the video has been rendered to scale given the best scientific research of 2009, when the video was produced. The film has similarities to the famous Powers of Ten video that has been a favorite of many space enthusiasts for a generation.


source

All movements go too far.

Bertrand Russell

In the past week alone I've been exposed to sides of people I was previously unaware of or just chose not to notice up until now. I've seen complete idiocy, complete disregard for something as simple as common courtesy, and another something that I can't name but know is there; I can't say I'm surprised but it certainly makes me think. On top of that, I've realized that as much as people disappoint me sometimes I can also be on the opposite end of that deal, contributing my own share of disappointments. All actions (and words) have repercussions and I just have to deal with mine until they blow over.

On a separate note, I'm slowly pressing forward with my New Year's resolution of spending more time with the fam; I'm only going back for a day but I haven't made too many plans so maybe we can make this happen. And now I'm going to make some bacon bacon + rice + shoyu + sugar and continue watching You're Beautiful~

U.S. Military Rifle Scopes Inscribed with Bible Verses

Seriously. I'm disgusted but really shouldn't be surprised that once again the religious extremists (namely Christians) are trying to force their beliefs upon the rest of the world, making the rest of you look just as bad. I cannot listen to a speech without hearing "God bless;" I cannot purchase an item without reading "in God we trust"—why even bother with the supposed separation of church and state?

Being provocative is not just about getting people's attention; it's about really saying something that affects people in a real way, in a positive way.

Lady Gaga

On my list of mostly already failed New Year's resolutions I'm adding "more substance"—this is to include (but is not limited to) more art, more reading, more motivation somehow, and more reflection. I don't want to look back on my life and find only silly (but lovely) pictures that don't even belong to me, so here we go.